Announcing a baby to your family and friends. Pleasure and disappointment of announcing a baby Part two: best way to share the news.
Keeping it secret is sometime tricky. Many women would spot quickly a “hidden pregnancy” behaviour of another woman … they would notice straight away when their best friend is kindly refusing a glass of re wine for the first time ever… or they would instantly find it out by just looking at you oversized wife’s boobs! Some of them can also spot straight away when a man is being unusually too kind with his partner. The usual bloke suddenly behaving like a sweet gentleman, helping her to get off a car or offering her a cushion when she sits. Most people even if guessing the truth inside their head would not risk asking frankly, unless they are really close friends and are not scared of shocking you with that question they are burning to ask and convinced they know already the answer.
“Are you Pregnant!?!”
I have to say that I became quite an expert at spotting it as well, on other people than my partner mind… And I had my few “I knew it!” moments, because friends are friends, and I can confidently judge an oversized pair of boobies myself as well… It happened again recently, and it was quite a relief when our friends announced to us that their were expecting their second baby. You know, you’re too shy to ask, but you so want to do it, why waiting so long! Say it! Say it!…
But of course when you are an expecting couple you are in a very similar position, you want to say it BUT… there is that sort of moral and traditional unwritten rule that says that you should wait after the second scan… or in terms of time, after at least 10 to 12 weeks, meaning after the first trimester of the pregnancy. This is not just a random time. It does correspond to when the risk of miscarriage statistically gets much lower. And preparing such an happy announcement is often emotionally balanced with the fear of losing the baby. I read that in Bangladesh traditionally they wait until the 7th month of pregnancy to announce it! This is when a baby is most certainly viable and chances of losing it are low even if the baby is premature.
However I think that rule of 10 weeks is not really applicable to your close family and very close friends. These are the people you would seek support from in case there was a real problem with the pregnancy. So generally I believe you don’t need to wait that long to tell your parents, brothers and sisters. They will be the first one to know anyway just after your wife’s best friend of course, unless her best friend is her mum (probably not yours 🙂 ) (Sorry if I am writing too much clichés for you!). This means there are 2 sorts of announcement step stones? In fact you could count 3 of them! Thanks to Social Media apps, you can now tell to the world or at least to your followers, Facebook friends and the alike.
So in short: soon after the first scan or once your are sure there is baby in there, you would tell first to your direct family (commonly the mum’s family first). After the second scan, once the first trimester has passed, you can tell your very good friends face to face, on the phone or by direct email to make sure they are aware before the rest of the world. Once that done, finally you can post on your favourite Social Media, tell your work colleagues, your neighbours and all the world if you want!
How to announce a new coming baby?
There are many ways to announce that you are going to have a baby.
Here I would like to stress the fact that you should approach the announcement in 2 or 3 different ways, matching with the 2 or 3 category of audiences (your family, your friends, the others)… This advice is based on my own experience.
I have learned that you don’t want to get very creative and very original with your relatives! Not sure if it’s a rule that everybody should apply, you may feel confident that your little trick can work with your parents, but clearly mines completely failed! It was embarrassing…
So we called my step mum, and here is roughly how we did it for our first baby:
M(Step Mum): “Hi Grandma”SM: “Oh Hi, It’s not Grandma, it’s Mum here. How are you doing?”
G: “No, No… Hi Grandma!”
M: “Hi, Can you hear me? It’s Mum. Not Grandma” (Sounding a bit upset)
G: “How are you doing Grandma”
M: “IT’S NOT GRANDMA. I know we have a bit the same voice, but this is Mum!”
and so on… until my partner said:
“We know, BUT you are going to be Grandma”
M: “Yes darling, I hope so, one day!…”
G: “For sure!”
and finally after a few more attempts to trigger a spark…
G: “Mum, I am pregnant!” (Sounding upset and tired…)
M: “What? Oh!?!… I understand now!!! Great!!!”
It was painful and it did not have the comic and happy effect we wanted to happen at all…
So we decided to do no tricks when announcing to my parents, it went:
Me: “Hi Mum, Hi Dad. How are you doing?”
Mum and Dad: “Fine, Thank you. How are YOU doing?”Me: “Good, thanks. We have news to tell you”
Me: “G is pregnant!”
Dad: “Ah that is good news!”
Mum (a bit shocked): “Congratulation, When is it for?”
So it was a much better outcome although I could sense a feeling of “At last you’re going to have a baby” (read my post about reasons that can put you off having a baby).
So for our second baby we decided to go classic as it had been a much better experience indeed.
But for our third one, we felt confident we could try a bit of fun. So my wife did a photo collage with an image editor software. The photo was split in 3: on the left a photo of our first boy and his name, K. In the middle (I bet you guess already) a photo of our second one with his name as well. And then on the right a photo of the scan with a question mark… Looking at it, we found its meaning was pretty obvious: our two boys and baby in the womb who has not been named yet. Well… it was a total disaster… Only my sister got it straight away. My Dad was second but after we had to explain verbally what was on the photo. But the mums were way off… We blamed their sense of digital unawarness. I think they were so busy trying to figure out what and how we could have such a weird photo that they did not think of the meaning of the photo. A real flop! At least now we laugh about it! But at the time it was very unsatisfying. For days we have regretted to have try to shake our parents neurones with a very light sophisticated photo-montage… Yet it did not spoil the joy of having another baby hopefully, it just ruined all our efforts to be original.
Funny enough, we posted the exact same photo-montage without any comment on Facebook and instantly we got a flood of congratulation posts…
And that was a bit more rewarding and confirmed to us that we should have stick to our rule:
First to parents, announce with no tricks.
Then Friends announce how you feel it.
All the others: get creative and have fun!
For that last category you more than likely will use social media. And in fact using posts, tweets, photos, pictures and videos have allowed a huge creative step in announcing pregnancy.
There are tons of really funny announcements on the web, some very artistic ones too. Some people even made top 10 lists of the funniest announcements… Have a look on Google, some may inspire you…
I hope this article helped you.