“Baby or not Baby” that is the question.
In my previous article I presented the 5 reasons that I, Super Busy Daddy, am considering the most important in the decision process going toward a positive answer to the question you may ask yourself: “Should I have a Baby or not?”
In this article I am exploring 5 reasons to say NO “I will not have a baby”.
My intention is to help daddies and parents that are not sure if or when they want to have a baby, whether it is the first the second or the 6th one!
- Financial burden
As seen in my previous post, for a very few of us having a child means making extra incomes. In fact for the vast majority of us, it means having loads of extra expenses.This is the first main reason to say:
Indeed the financial cost of a baby can be quite overwhelming if you put a few figures together.
You can find some average costs on big website specialised in baby stuff. Like I did, you can look yourself on specialised web space like babycentre.com or parenting.com if you want to go into detailed figures. Overall if you sum up the cost of essentials stuff like nappies, clothes, gears like push-chairs, car seat, furnitures to put in the bedroom nest, healthcare, childcare and babysitting, you will get a total amount close to $12000 (approx £7600, 10700 €) in US for the first year, for UK it’s estimated at £5500 (approx 8640$, 7710 €) In average and this is actually the amount of money that you should have in a bank account before having a baby in UK. Keep in mind that these are approximations, and the amount can vary a lot according to what budget you are on. For example you will find a huge difference already when buying a buggy for your baby, for example if you choose a “formula one” buggy that can costs over £700 (approx. $1100, 980 €) or if you buy a simple pram that costs less than £100 (approx. 160$, 140 €). It is the same for each other items, like buying the top range nappies or the value ones.
In UK for example the annual spending can be from £1500 (approx. 2350$, 2100 €) to over £7000 (approx 11000$ ,9800 €) for the first year of your baby!
And these figures are actually growing significantly every year, having kids is more and more expensive.
It is now estimated that raising a child from birth to 21 years old in UK costs the flat rounded sum of £230 000 (approx 361000$, 322700 €)! so over £10 000 (approx 15700$, 14000 €) per year over 21 years paying for someone you don’t even know yet?!?
Health care can be very expensive too, although it varies a lot per countries. But it can have a significant impact on your income, especially when something goes wrong and you have to see specialists “just to make sure” .
Talking about health…
Apart from the financial cost of a baby, another cost to look at is your own health. It is not counted in money but in hours of sleep. And sometimes you can be very poor in that kind of currency, believe me!
Why babies sleep when you are at work and wakes you up all the time when you are trying to sleep?
Is it simply because your baby do not care about your sleep?! Well there are other reasons why a baby wakes up at night of course (teething, bad dreams, digestion, etc…) but at 3am you may think that your baby always want to keep you awake to give you a miserable life. Thinking not clearly is one of the numerous effects of sleep deprivation…
The fact is that I am seriously lacking a good full night of sweet dreams, or even just a few hours in a row without having to jump out the bed to try to calm down the screaming monster.
So naturally I feel very tired at work and I get stressed when I try to hide from my boss for a little nap. Health wise, on top of exhaustion consider you lucky if you don’t have back problems. Imagine you will have to carry again and again a fast asleep baby in its seat and a bag full of baby care stuff on your shoulders while trying to get your car keys in your left pocket.
You can also expect to have wrist ache as inevitably you will try show off by lifting your baby with one hand. It’s fine to do it in the early months, but remember a baby grows up quickly. The average growth is that a baby doubles it birth weight after 5 months!
On top of seeing your health being degraded after having a baby there is the environmental impact of having an extra person on this planet.
This again can be very overwhelming for somebody (like me), very conscious of the impact of human specie, on our beautiful green and blue planet. The green and blue is getting grey and marroon like the colour of concrete and the colour of a soiled nappy…
Of course nappies are quite nasty for the environment, and they pile up very quickly, you will see!
A new born will need about 6 to 7 nappies per day, and a 2 year old will soil about 4 to 5 per day. Most diapers are full of non biodegradable stuff and often left in closed plastic bags, then this explosive device can produce loads of methane ready to pop out sometime. It takes around 200 years for a disposable nappy to degrade. Invented in 1946, the first nappy is still hosting a colony of poopvore hungry germs and fungus colonies trying to degrade the first ‘modern’ disposable diaper in a landfill somewhere in US.
Another item in a baby’s life that has an important impact on the environment: cloth. Clothes have a short life cycle – you put them on your baby a couple of time and that’s it – finished. Check out textiles used to make them and all chemicals usually present in your favorite baby suits can sometime have.
Also trips to your child-minder or nursery, increase the amount of petrol and the amount of CO2 rejected in the atmosphere.
At last some would say that we cannot afford having more people on this planet already crowded.
Some mummies and daddies may be quite upset right now while reading this article. So please hold on to it. Keep faith in Super Busy Daddy! Don’t worry! This is only the second episode of a serie of three.
- “I don’t like children” or “I will not be a good dad”.
This is a fair reason to decide to not have children, especially if both in the couple dislike having little ones around them. A lot of people just are not comfortable with kids and even sometimes scared of them. My brother in law although he loves kids , admits that he should not have any kids of his own because he thinks he would be a rubbish daddy. A lot of people think the same, and cumulated with other reasons it can make the “no kids in my life please” a high and loud proclamation.
I have put these 2 reasons together because they have the same root to me: not wanted to have an intrusion in our selves. It does not mean being selfish and it is better to admit not liking babies or not being confident to have one rather than having a baby and both parent and child struggling to develop good relationship.
- “I am not ready”
This probably the most common reason beside not being ready financially.
But asking yourself if you are ready is already a very good thing to do.
Are you ready to stop travelling, to stop having night out once or twice a week, to stop “getting wasted”? Are you ready to meet only people with kids while Joe and Sue will continue to have fun and to tell you how ravaged they were at the Glastonbury festival?
So in short, are you ready to quit your kid-free lifestyle?
I hope you have not taken your decision now, please wait to read the third episode of this trilogy which will present you with THE SOLUTION!
I am Super Busy Daddy and I love it!